We are officially in the final stretch.

It feels like everything is happening all at once and also… just as it should.
I’m calm. I’m clear.
But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit there’s a little whisper of nervous energy following me around.

This decision to get a tubal wasn’t complicated. I didn’t need to go back and forth.
I’m turning 49 this year. My husband is 50. And as much as we love our babies, this body is done carrying them.

No more diapers. No more bottles. No more baby bags.
I’m in a different season now—a season of deep love, clarity, and reclaiming my body for me.

The Honest Truth? I Wish He Were the One Getting “Snipped”

Let me keep it 100:
I didn’t struggle with if I wanted the procedure.
I struggled with why it had to be me getting it done.

My husband—God love him—is thriving, healthy, and enjoying life.
He loves sex. (And I love that he does!)
But let’s be real: the birth control, the hormones, the responsibility… has always fallen on me.

And now? We’ve hit a wall where our intimacy feels stalled. Not because we don’t love each other.
But because I’m tired of being the one carrying the weight of “what if.”

What if we got pregnant again? What would we do?
How would I handle a newborn at 49?
Where would that energy even come from?

It’s hard to be passionate when your mind is full of fear.

So yeah, I’m excited about this surgery.
But I’m also a little annoyed that the person who’s done the carrying (literally and emotionally) is still the one doing the cutting.

A Decision Made for Peace, Pleasure & Partnership

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about boundaries.

This decision—while mine to make—was made with us in mind.
Because I want to reconnect fully.
I want to welcome passion back in without that lingering “what if” ruining the moment.

I want my body to feel like it belongs to me again.
I want to trust that we’re done… for good.
And I want to make space for what’s next—for our marriage, our family, and our intimacy.

Claiming This Next Chapter

I’ve spent the last few years in survival mode—pregnancy, postpartum, parenting two little ones, building a business, rebuilding after bankruptcy, supporting my husband’s dreams, and learning to ask for help when I need it.

And now?
I’m claiming ease.
I’m choosing wholeness.
I’m saying yes to less fear and more freedom.

So as I count down the final 30 days, I’m not focused on anxiety—I’m focused on alignment.
I’m not obsessing over pain—I’m preparing for peace.

This surgery may be the end of one chapter…
but it’s the beginning of another where I feel empowered, clear, and ready to pour into me.

Don’t Forget to Subscribe

✨ New blog posts go live every Friday at 1:00 PM Central
Subscribe so you never miss a post—and get a little dose of real motherhood, life after 40, and truth-telling right in your inbox.

📣 Talk to Me

Have you ever had to make a hard decision that gave you freedom on the other side?
Tell me in the comments. Let’s hold space for each other to feel it all—the relief, the grief, and the joy