Parenting After 40

Tag: surgery

  • ✨ Final Countdown: Claiming My Body, My Boundaries, My Peace

    ✨ Final Countdown: Claiming My Body, My Boundaries, My Peace

    We are officially in the final stretch.

    It feels like everything is happening all at once and also… just as it should.
    I’m calm. I’m clear.
    But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit there’s a little whisper of nervous energy following me around.

    This decision to get a tubal wasn’t complicated. I didn’t need to go back and forth.
    I’m turning 49 this year. My husband is 50. And as much as we love our babies, this body is done carrying them.

    No more diapers. No more bottles. No more baby bags.
    I’m in a different season now—a season of deep love, clarity, and reclaiming my body for me.

    The Honest Truth? I Wish He Were the One Getting “Snipped”

    Let me keep it 100:
    I didn’t struggle with if I wanted the procedure.
    I struggled with why it had to be me getting it done.

    My husband—God love him—is thriving, healthy, and enjoying life.
    He loves sex. (And I love that he does!)
    But let’s be real: the birth control, the hormones, the responsibility… has always fallen on me.

    And now? We’ve hit a wall where our intimacy feels stalled. Not because we don’t love each other.
    But because I’m tired of being the one carrying the weight of “what if.”

    What if we got pregnant again? What would we do?
    How would I handle a newborn at 49?
    Where would that energy even come from?

    It’s hard to be passionate when your mind is full of fear.

    So yeah, I’m excited about this surgery.
    But I’m also a little annoyed that the person who’s done the carrying (literally and emotionally) is still the one doing the cutting.

    A Decision Made for Peace, Pleasure & Partnership

    This isn’t about blame.
    It’s about boundaries.

    This decision—while mine to make—was made with us in mind.
    Because I want to reconnect fully.
    I want to welcome passion back in without that lingering “what if” ruining the moment.

    I want my body to feel like it belongs to me again.
    I want to trust that we’re done… for good.
    And I want to make space for what’s next—for our marriage, our family, and our intimacy.

    Claiming This Next Chapter

    I’ve spent the last few years in survival mode—pregnancy, postpartum, parenting two little ones, building a business, rebuilding after bankruptcy, supporting my husband’s dreams, and learning to ask for help when I need it.

    And now?
    I’m claiming ease.
    I’m choosing wholeness.
    I’m saying yes to less fear and more freedom.

    So as I count down the final 30 days, I’m not focused on anxiety—I’m focused on alignment.
    I’m not obsessing over pain—I’m preparing for peace.

    This surgery may be the end of one chapter…
    but it’s the beginning of another where I feel empowered, clear, and ready to pour into me.

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    📣 Talk to Me

    Have you ever had to make a hard decision that gave you freedom on the other side?
    Tell me in the comments. Let’s hold space for each other to feel it all—the relief, the grief, and the joy

  • 🕰️ Title: It’s Surgery Day — Claiming My Body, My Boundaries, My Peace

    🕰️ Title: It’s Surgery Day — Claiming My Body, My Boundaries, My Peace

    📅 Date: June 23, 2025
    🕓 Time: 6:19 AM

    It’s 6:19 AM, and I’m sitting in the hospital, checked in since 5:15 for my 5:30 pre-op arrival. In just over an hour, I’ll be wheeled in for my tubal ligation procedure.

    I’m calm. I’m ready. I’m claiming this chapter for peace.

    This decision wasn’t one I wrestled with. It was one I walked toward—confidently and clearly. At 49, my body has done what it was supposed to do. We’ve created life, nurtured it, sustained it, and now… I’m making space to reclaim my body just for me.

    But whew—today came fast.

    What Pre-Op Looked Like

    Yesterday, I had all the pre-op testing done.
    I gave five vials of blood, had an EKG, and a mammogram.

    But let me tell you… my veins were on strike.
    They tried one arm. Nothing.
    Tried the other. Got one vial—then had to throw it out because it started to clot before it even reached the lab.
    That vein collapsed right in front of me. Have you ever seen a vein collapse? Terrifying and fascinating all at once.

    Finally, they went for my hand—and bingo.
    Third time’s the charm. 🙃

    I left that appointment with five vials of blood missing, an EKG printout, and a mammogram that reminded me these girls are still hanging in there—defying gravity and everything else.

    My Village Deserves a Standing Ovation

    Let me take a moment to shout out my incredible support team:

    💍 My husband — who woke up before Jesus to be here with me, laptop out, editing photos while I wait for surgery. You are my rock and my calm.

    👵🏽👴🏽 My parents — who extended their vacation just to help us with the girls while I recover. Right now, they’re at home getting our daughters ready for camp and tutoring. Thank you for loving us the way you do.

    👧🏽👧🏽 My daughters — who prayed with me last night, cracked jokes, gave the biggest hugs and kisses, and reminded me why I do all of this in the first place. I’m about to call you in a minute to wish you a great day. I love you endlessly.

    👯‍♀️ My cousins — who’ve been at my house every day this past weekend, hugging me, laughing with me, and already texting my husband this morning waiting for the “she’s out and good” message.

    👩🏽‍⚕️ My best friend — who happens to be a doctor and who went to med school with my OB. Thank you for giving this decision your blessing—it gave me peace.

    🌍 My girls’ Godmother — texting me from Paris, trying to move your flight to be here for me. I had to make you stay and enjoy your vacation, but your love and loyalty mean everything.

    🙏🏽 My aunts, uncles, and prayer warriors — you’ve been covering me in spirit and prayer, as always.

    📲 My friends — who were up before dawn, calling, texting, and sending prayers before the sun even came up. It means more than you know to feel surrounded, covered, and remembered in moments like this. Y’all are my circle, my crew, my chosen family.

    💻 And to you—my readers — the women and couples who’ve been where I am, or are headed here soon… thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share this journey publicly and imperfectly. It matters. You matter.

    This blog isn’t just about a procedure.
    It’s about power.
    It’s about ownership.
    It’s about choosing peace, on purpose.

    Thanks for walking with me through this. I’ll check back in once I’m out of surgery.

    See you on the other side 💪🏽🩺❤️
    —Ronnie